Weekly Wrap 3
A lot and nothing has happened this week. Maybe you know what I mean. So much of life can be crammed into one little week and yet, you stand there scratching your head when someone asks you to sum it up. I feel like I am doing that right now. What DID happen?
I know that this past week has been harder than our other weeks here thus far. I have been so incredibly tired as we have transitioned to having a puppy. Lemon is honestly doing so good and I am so grateful for the experience we have had by adding her to our family. But she is also not old enough to be a good sleeper yet. I was sleeping with her in our room but I just couldn’t get more than a few hours of sleep as she was constantly waking me up for some extra lovin’. So she is now sleeping in our laundry room, which she doesn’t love, but she is adjusting well to. Ah, puppy days. 🙂
I have also been feeling the strain of moving into a new home and being so focused on all of the work that comes with it, that some of my routine stuff is just…hanging on by a thread. My morning routine so far looks like this:
1. Wake up and take Lemon out for a walk
2. Guzzle lots of water
3. Drink coffee and eat something small
4. Go to gym/run/or home workout
5. Get kids up and have them eat (or Gabe does this if I am at the gym)
6. Start working (on blogs, books, homeschooling stuff, etc)
If I could adjust this a bit, I would add in some morning journaling/scripture/reading but that generally has to wait until later (if it happens). I am SO bad at reading these days, even though I love it, because it’s been hard to balance book writing and blogging with reading. Sigh. There are truly not enough hours in a day.
Now, to the honest stuff. This week I have felt so distracted from my family as I struggle through taking care of Lemon and myself and finishing up my book (I am now in the waiting period before I begin the first edit). Gabe and I are often on different pages and that sometimes leaves us feeling anxious and frustrated with each other. We both have entirely different ideas of what life should look like. Gabe has much more of a servant and frugal heart, neglecting his own mental and physical health while I am much more of a self care advocate (while also feeling like as a mother of three littles I don’t have time to focus as much on it as I’d like) who wants to not be frugal when it comes to food and what to me are healthy necessities (however I am extremely frugal, just not compared to Gabe. lol).
My top priorities would definitely be self care, family care, and then others care…while his are family care, others care, and then self care. But it’s okay. Yesterday we were having a pretty big struggle because while checking out at Target he reminded me that what I buy affects our family, in which I strongly reacted to, because I felt like what I was buying was frugal and made complete sense. But there’s also the realization that we are two different people with two different ideas of what we should spend money on and while I saw the way I restrained from buying one thousand items in Target and only bought twenty (this included food, a floor mat to get dirt off when we come in, boring wash cloths because we don’t have any, and gifts for a birthday and welcoming home gift).
Needless to say, I felt kind of attacked even though that wasn’t his intent or purpose and then walking through that together until I could believe that we were on the same side took like an hour. I have trouble not going into survival mode during some of our arguments but have gotten so much better at actually processing what is happening around me (although definitely not perfect). When we argue and I feel like Gabe is attacking me (even if he isn’t) it’s difficult for me to remember that we are on the same side, trying to do what is best for each other. So, Gabe has been practicing what I asked him to say in those situations, reminding me that we are on the same side. Although it may take me a minute to really accept it, the fact that he says it begins to reawaken the side of me that knows this to be true. We are on the same side, even when it’s hard to believe.
This week, while carrying Indigo on my back, he grabbed an extremely sharp knife off of the counter and started waving it around. Maybe you can imagine how terrified I was. He was on my back, which meant I had little to no control over the knife and while my older two kids were freaking out and I was freaking out, afraid that he was going to severely hurt himself, Indigo threw the knife and it stabbed me in the back of the leg. Ugh. It hurt so much and I was sure it was going to be a lot worse than it actually was. So, I calmly set him down and Liv grabbed me a bandaid from upstairs. As a visual, imagine me not showing much emotion through all of this situation and responding very calmly to being stabbed in the leg. lol. Sometimes struggling with emotions is helpful in tense situations. And I was just so relieved that it was me who got hurt and not him. Ugh.
Our neighbors gifted us a pool that they used last summer, that is in great working condition so we have been doing a lot of stoop sitting while talking to neighbors and watching the kids play outside. It has just been so good. I can’t even express how much I love our neighbors. Maria (her house is literally connected to ours) gave us a whole bunch of ears of corn. I honestly don’t know what but it was so kind and we love corn. All of our neighbors are just so generous. I am looking forward to finally baking them something good to eat. I just haven’t gotten around to it yet with all of the business of moving in.
Olivia is officially going to public school this year. Her principal stopped by to tell us what we needed to bring to the school. I can’t even process that she is going to be away from me for like eight hours a day. It’s insane. But I know she is going to love it. There are a lot of reasons why we are trying this out and I am just so excited for her, but also very nervous.
Yesterday it was pouring down rain and we didn’t realize it as we headed out to the library (walking). It was crazy. At first we tried to stay dry but eventually we gave up. Fortunately, our kids are well accustomed to our crazy adventures in all kinds of weather and we all had such a great time wading through the flooded streets, giggling and splashing like crazy people. Pretty sure we were quite the sight to see. haha. Of course once we made it to the library it wasn’t quite as exciting, seeing as it was air conditioned. Yikes!!
We are heading to Maryland today for a movie night at Gabe’s parents church and then a birthday party tomorrow. Our stay will be short and quick but hopefully good. And that’s that.
I have been worn out. I have been cranky. I have even struggled a bit with body positivity (I saw myself in a gym mirror and kinda freaked for a second lol), but trying to remember that I am so much more than my physical self and that flaws are just a part of being human. And it’s okay. It’s really okay. Sometimes you just have to take a minute to remind yourself of all the things you love about your body, take a few deep breaths, and move on. Deep, deep breaths.
If you want to tell me about your week, leave a comment. I would love to hear how you are doing and what you have been up to.